After reading Simoney’s latest post I had two immediate thoughts: 1. I have most definitely lost my blogging mojo and 2. I miss blogging.
Simony suggests some reasons why someone might have lost their blogging mojo. I could relate to...well...all of the above. I’ve been in a bit of a slump. Things got hard, really hard, for a while there, and I didn’t have the heart to blog from such a dark place. Then, I was pregnant, and exhausted most of the time. Then came baby, and he was so amazing I couldn’t bear to spend any time away from him.
I told myself ‘I’ll get back into it in the school holidays, when I have more time’. Then, with the chaos and craziness of having 4 kids at home, I told myself ‘I’ll blog more when the kids go back to school, when I have more time’.
A major problem for me is: I find it hard to see my life as interesting. It actually hurts me to say that, but it’s pretty much the truth. I’m a stay-at-home-mum. Not that I resent that, after all, it’s the choice I made and we’ve sacrificed a lot so I could do this. BUT it does mean that my day to day life, on paper, isn’t exactly riveting. My day tomorrow will be spent doing pretty much all the same things that I did today. And the day after that, and the day after that. I get up in the morning, do the mad morning routine to get three kids off to school, then come home and breastfeed the baby for hours on end. In between feeds I do laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning until it’s time to pick the kids up from school and start the mad afternoon routine of food, homework, showers and bedtime. Once the kids are in bed, I breastfeed the baby for hours on end, until he finally falls asleep for the night, sometime between ten and midnight, and then I get to go to bed myself and have broken sleep before getting up the next morning and doing it all over again.
A lot of the time I don’t blog because I feel like I have no reason to. But equally, I feel like I have no reason not to blog – I love this stage of their lives, and I don’t want to miss the chance to record it.
I actually started blogs for each of the kids, to keep the extended family up to date on their happenings, and it’s amazing how keeping a blog for them has forced me to find the things in their day that are extraordinary and lovely, and worth writing about, just so they can look back at the end of the year and know they were amazing and beautiful and fun and interesting. Surely I can do the same thing for myself?
Within the boring daily routine, there are actually a lot of big things going on for our family right now. 2012 is promising to be an amazing year. Hubby’s sister is pregnant with twins, due in a couple of months. She will have four under 4! Exciting stuff. His brother’s wife is also pregnant, with their second child. And my own beautiful sister is pregnant. I am so ridiculously excited about this, as is anyone who knows my sister. She has wanted a baby for years and years, and has been pregnant several times, only to lose the baby at an early stage. Each one was heartbreaking, for all of us really, but for my sister and her partner it has been the cruellest heartache imaginable. Shortly after Froggie was born (my sister was present at his birth) I started praying for my sister to have a baby. I mean, I’ve prayed for her before of course, but this was different. I mean, I really started praying, for her and her children. I think what motivated me the most was the sense I’d got from her that she had given up hope. To me, there’s nothing more sad than someone who lacks hope for the thing they want the most. And I know a lot of people who were infertile, terminally ill, unable to carry a viable pregnancy, or deemed ‘too old’ to bear children, who went on to have kids anyway. God will always have the final say. He alone can give and take away life with a simple word from his lips, yet the medical profession so often gives it a try. So it’s a major miracle, because this time around, she’s made it to 13 weeks and baby is healthy and strong. I really cannot get over how amazing this is, and how excited I am for the weeks and months to come. My sister asked me the other day if I would be the baby’s godmother. All I could do was cry.
My other beautiful sister, my younger sister, is getting married in 7 weeks time. We’re off to Christchurch for the wedding (please, let there be no earthquakes) and it will be the first time since we were kids that all of us (the siblings, that is my brother, 2 sisters and I) will be together at the same time. I can’t wait!
Other than that, my oldest boy has just started high school, his younger brother is in his last year of primary school, and our princess is no longer in the junior school. And the baby is sitting, rolling, waving, clapping, talking, laughing, teething, eating, kissing, dribbling and all that fun stuff.
So really, though I have no reason to blog, I equally have no reason not to blog.
So thankyou, Simoney, for writing a post that made me think, because even though there isn’t hundreds of people out there staring in despair at their computer screens waiting with baited breath for my posts, I started this thing for me, and I need to come back to it, to find some joy in my boring, ordinary life, so that at the end of the year I can look back and know that my days were filled with something interesting and fun and worthwhile.