Monday, September 13, 2010

Damages



I want to say thanks to those of you who have sent messages of love and prayers over the past few months that I have been MIA. Even when I failed to reply your messages were read and appreciated.
Things have been...rough. I wish I could say that I'm coming through the other side of the tunnel now, but the truth is I'm still flailing about in the dark trying to figure out which direction I should be going.
Last week my hometown Christchurch experienced a magnitude 7.1 earthquake. I am grateful to God that no one died as a result, as some of the stories, pictures and video footage coming out of Christchurch has been shocking.



As I look at my beautiful, broken home city, I feel so sad knowing that this quake has changed the city forever. Holes in the earth, houses and buildings falling down, some damaged beyond repair and having to be torn down by demolition crews. My home, like a symbol of my whole life, destroyed beyond recognition.

My world came crashing down around me long before the earthquake. Someone took everything I knew and loved and shook it all up to such a degree that nothing will ever quite be the same again. Now I'm standing in the ruins, trying to gauge what can be restored out of this mess. I'm so afraid there might be nothing left.

As Christchurch rebuilds, I will be too. But before I can rebuild I, like the city, need to clear out the rubble left behind by the big shake, need to assess what is still strong enough to hold on to, and what parts need to be let go of.

It all looks like rubble right now, it all looks damaged. It's so hard to see anything but the cracks. They were not there before, now they're a part of what I've spent so long building, and they're weakening the whole structure. Every aftershock that comes is causing a little more damage. What if the next one, however small, brings the whole thing down?

I'll survive. We all will.
It's just tough picking up the pieces of a life so carefully put together.


6 comments:

  1. Oh Sweets.
    I passed thru your blog the other day, just to see if your were in fact still here....
    Flick me an email, I'd really love to talk if you want to....
    I have been through the desert, and know the barrenness and dryness can be overwhelming at times...
    But you do walk through it, if you choose to put one foot in front of the other...

    Loves.
    M

    (meg@megblackmore.co.nz)

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  2. Cass! You have not been far from my mind!
    I am so sorry to here that your world has crashed down around you.
    Do not loose hope. I KNOW that somethings amazing will rise from the ashes.
    One day at a time....one moment
    love and light to you

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  3. There you are! Just left a dumb comment on your fb before checking your blog ;)
    Like Cat, been thinking about you too.
    much love
    widge
    xo

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  4. Cass it is so great to see you posting again. I thought you had given up on blogging but I'm glad you are back, and that at elast now we are FB buddies, so we won't lose touch again.
    Have been wondering how you have been getting on and so sorry to hear things have been crappy :(
    We are still here.
    {{hugs}}
    xx

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  5. look like you are surrounded with love Cass!!!
    take it girl and wrap it around you....

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  6. Thanks for the love everyone, it means so much.

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