Friday, November 13, 2009

Moments of Madness

My beautiful cat Sophie finally gave birth to her 5 kittens on Tuesday morning, cute wee things that cuddle up together and make cute little noises and have provided us with something new to stare at all day. So it’s official. I’m the crazy cat lady.
For a few weeks anyway, until they’re old enough to be weaned and given away. But still, it scares me.

Meanwhile 3 very excited kids arrived at school on Tuesday morning, bursting with the news of the tiny new arrivals. Princess apparently had the attention of the class as she told them all how “a little kitten came out of my cat’s butt and it was covered in blood and it was so disgusking!”

Had an amusing conversation with Boy the other day, my curious 8 year old son, when he told me he was annoyed with his friends because “sometimes they just say they believe things without thinking about it, and I think they’ve just heard it somewhere”. I was quite surprised at his insight, I mean, I know that, but I didn’t expect that he would know or even really care. It turns out he’d been having a conversation with one of his friends about God, and his friend said he didn’t believe in God because he believed humans evolved from apes. Boy told me he listened to his friend explain how we used to be apes, and thought about it but when he asked him “OK well if you think that then who made the apes?” and his friend didn’t have an answer he just got annoyed because he wasn’t making a lot of sense.

Boy never fails to amuse. His mind works overtime with ideas and he has this huge need to just sit and talk, often. He’s also a feeling person, which makes him very different from me, because I don’t really do feelings. Hubby is the feeling person, I prefer logic, and have to remind myself that Boy’s this little guy running around having all these feelings 24/7.

A couple of days ago he came home from school in a mood, snappy and wound up about, oh I don’t know, everything it seemed! I was pretty tired and just kind of ignored him until he threw a couple of pretty major tantrums about something or other and ended up sent to his room. I started making tea, he stayed in his room, then Shane mentioned something about a sign on the door announcing “Boy’s alone time, keep out...” with a list of names detailing exactly who was ordered to keep out (all of us), so I told him to just give him some space for a while to let him chill out a bit.

Didn’t think anything more about it. Soon Boy comes into the kitchen and sits down at the table, still kinda grumping but mostly over it, asks me why I bought the ‘wrong’ box of tissues. He was looking at the picture on the new box as though it was a wart or something. I told him ‘I bought those instead because they’re environmentally friendly, and I thought you’d like that cos I know it’s important to you.” (Boy is the guy who told me off for using gladwrap and asked for his lunch to be put into reusable bags or containers, and insisted that I change from plastic shopping bags to reusable ones, and makes us drive him miles out of town on weekends so he can plant trees with some group he’s joined. He hates anything I do to kill the planet, and I know I should care more, but I really only ever do environmentally good things to please Boy. I’m sorry!)

So I showed him the tissue box and how it said it was all made from recycled paper and didn’t have the plastic window thingy, and let him read all the information on the bottom. Next thing I know he’s standing there sobbing and howling and asks me to come into his room with him, he wants to show me something. He gets out his scrapbook that he draws pictures in, opens it up and shows me this hideous picture that he’s drawn: picture Bad Jelly the Witch, crossed with the cryptkeeper, with a giant boogie hanging out of her huge nose and her tongue hanging out. Above it, the words “This is Mum. This is the worst picture of them all.”

I’m standing there biting the insides of my cheeks to keep myself from laughing out loud, while he’s sobbing uncontrollably to the point where he can’t breathe, and I say “Why are you showing me this?” He shows me the rest of the book, trying to explain that this is the book where he creates cartoon characters and gives them names and writes a little bio about them, just so that I really don’t miss what he’s done here, so I really understand that this is a picture of me, and it’s ugly and it’s the” worst picture of them all”. Then he turns the page and there in large letters are the words “MUM SUCKS”. That’s the moment when I lost it laughing, but he didn’t notice since it was also the moment when he started howling even louder. I said to him “Why are you upset?” he said “Cos I feel bad.” I said “Well I think it’s quite creative actually.” He said, between sobs “But it’s so mean...and you bought me those tissuuuuuueeeeesss!”

I managed to calm him down by explaining that it’s ok to be mad at me, and since he took himself away and vented his frustrations artistically, rather than scream and hit and throw things, I could forgive him for the picture, since he obviously didn’t mean it anyway. The whole time wanting to whip out my camera phone and take a photo of his drawing because it was SO FUNNY, but I couldn’t because, after apologising to me a thousand times, he very theatrically tore the pages out of his book and ripped them into tiny pieces, carrying them quite ceremoniously to the fireplace for disposal.

I wanted so badly to point out that a tree died for that, but I held my tongue like a real grown up.



  1. I found your blog through another blog and this post had me really laughing! I love it! :)
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. That is classic, I would've loved to of been a fly on the wall at your place that day :) Kids are so funny! Bless wee Neihana xxx

  3. And the kittens, cute! I'll be cat lady with you.. Im the a cat person :)

  4. Yay for that, cos everyone around here is a cat hater! Not us, but the extended family. Actually I've never really been a cat person, but Sophie's mum was my next door neighbour's cat and she was so awesome that I fell in love with her and HAD to have one of her kittens. Sophie is a total princess lol. Geez listen to me.

  5. Oh, God! Your son is so cute! And so mature for his age...I mean, really! So, he felt he had to fess up about his doodlings....and actually apologized for you not being his favorite person at the moment...geez. Now, if only he could hang onto that loyalty towards you for the next ten years!!!
    It's so sweet that he was upset at having been disrespectful to you!
    And I'm with you...I wud've been looking for my camera! (He would have been mortified if you'd photographed it!)


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